English needs an update

Mommy's always teaching me new words and phrases. Sometimes though, I think that they can be improved upon. I'll list a couple of the ones that Mommy has taught me and my improvements. Let me know what you think.

Tunnel (just not enough punch)
Tundel (it's got a better flow)

Thanks (come on, everyone says it like that)
Fanks (I own this word)

You're welcome (this has the same thing going for it as "thanks.")
Yellcome (quicker and still to the point.)

Pretzel (this word is far too old and needs updating)
Prinzel (fresh word for a delicious snack)

Pickup truck (something with 4 wheels and a cab)
Picnic truck (one of my favorite things on 4 wheels!)

Courtesy flush (Daddy stinks on the potty)
Cursory flesh (I'm not quite sure what this means, but I think it just sounds better)

I'll try to think of more ways to bring the English language a breath of fresh air. When I do, I'll let you know.

Fanks for reading.